I’m Back In Japan, So Why Not?

Yes, I’m here in Tokyo once again, on the first day of a ten day vacation, which, since I don’t really consider going to a city a ‘vacation,’ per se — the term I would use is simply ‘trip’ — is basically nothing more than ‘not having to work for a week.’  Well, that’s not true.  I am meeting up with friends to catch up and socialize and all that great stuff.  But I’ve been here before so it’s not entirely new, and I’ve been living in Taiwan for two years, which means Asia in all its Asian-ness isn’t wow-ee style exciting anymore, so really I am mostly regarding this coming week as a great chance to simply get in a little downtime.  A whole week where I don’t have to work (not that I work much anyway, but still); a whole week where I could just sit in this tiny, tiny hotel room all day and write write write whatever I want, only needing to jaunt down to the Family Mart down the street to pick up some sushi and tea every 5 or 6 hours.  And go out for drinks at night.  Basically what I would do every day if I were rich.  Damn you, agencies.  Damn you.

So I thought I’d just blog away a little bit as I’m here, since it’s something to do.  However, I really want to make sure I don’t sound like an ass as I do this; I don’t want to be one of those white guys who goes to Japan and then writes a blog about ‘all the fucked-up shit!’ acting like he’s the first white guy who’s ever been here and detailing all this stuff for his dumb-ass friends in Des Moines, or wherever, is doing the internet some great public service.  So in that regard, I probably won’t be talking about Japan all that much — mostly just me, which is a lot easier anyway.

Also, there won’t be a lot of pictures.  I like taking pictures, but I hate being ‘the guy standing there taking pictures.’  I’m not sure why, but for some reason I just think that me standing in some busy, day-glo shopping district snapping away, again like the first white guy ever to come to Japan, makes me look douche-y.  It’s like, ‘wow, look at all the lights!’  I don’t know why I think this; maybe it’s because of the line in this song.  And I did that once already anyway, the last time I was here, so do I really need to repeat myself?  That’s why I stole the picture above instead of taking and using one of my own — it’s also easier, anyway.  It’s also easy to steal and post this picture, which, hey, is a great demonstration of the ‘fucked-up shit’ stuff too:

Yes, it’s the ‘chopstick bra.’  Look how nicely that ties everything together.  Admittedly not their greatest creative achievement.  You know what is, though?  Heated toilet seats.  Absolutely brilliant.

BTW — the opening picture was not just a random steal of a Japanese neighbourhood; it’s Ikebukuro, which is where I’m staying.  This ended up being a good spot, because I never made it up here on my last trip and it’s easily accessible by about 20 different train lines.   So walking around a bit outside earlier was nice, but as soon as I get down to Shibuya, I just know I’m gonna think ‘it’s like 2005 all over again . . . lame.’

What else can I say?  Well, how’s about I conform the Japanese to everyone’s stereotypes of them: pretty much the first thing that popped up (pun coincidental) on the tv when I turned it on was porn; the guy on the flight next to me had a can of beer and two mini-bottles of champagne . . . with breakfast; and, when I went into a restaurant to get dinner, they served me . . . wait for it . . . Japanese food.  So, there you go.  Everything you think about Japan is true.  Good thing it’s all so great and fun.